iMedia: following your dreams

Lately the only conversation I seem to be having with most people is the college one.  They say where they are going and what they are majoring in, and then they as me.  I, of course, respond by saying "Illinois Wesleyan to major in theatre."  About 70% of people have the same reaction.  They either give me a surprised "ahh", say "are you sure that is a good idea?"  or just flat out say, "Yeah, good luck with your future."  very sarcastically. 

The other 30% usually say that they are happy that I'm following my passion, and that they wish they were following their own.  Either way, these days following your dreams has become seen as a little ecentric, and sometimes just plain old stupid. 

The reason this picture speaks to me is partially because I've gotten really into street art.  For the most part, the pictures are on the street and it often looks like a gigantic hole or crack in the street.  Lately I've also found street art on walls and the sides of buildings.  Street art is really cool because many people who aren't into the arts find it really cool too.  I've heard many people say that while they love music, they dont understand art, but they love looking up street art.  Seeings as the arts are one of the main areas people are too afraid to pursue, I find it kind of ironic that there is artwork about not being able to follow your dreams.  I believe that the artist believes that following your dreams should not be cancelled.  I don't think following your dreams should be considered a luxury either.  If you love something, go for it.

An Inconvient truth: looking at the negatives.

I have begun to realize that people are more likely to look at something negative than point out the positives.  I first began to realize it when I noticed that no gossip is good gossip.  Whenever somebody tells you that they have a great story to tell, its usually about something dumb or bad that somebody else did.  It is always full of judgement when we hear something about somebody else.  And when we hear these things we never say that the person was probably in a bad situation, or the reason they seemingly randomly yelled at a friend in the hallway, was because that friend had been mistreating them for sometime.

In psychology this is called the fundamental attribution error.  We always think that other people's shortcomings and problems are based off of internal characteristics, rather than thinking that they may be dealing with something else that could explain a mistake they've made.  Because of this we judge, ridicule, laugh at, and even begin to dispise people for doing things that were possibly outside of their control.

However, when we look at something that we did wrong, like that time we were speeding down the street and then cut somebody off, we always blame it on the situation instead of ourselves.  We were speeding because we were running really late and we just had to be somewhere on time.  I know that I do that all the time.  But if somebody cuts me off I assume that they're a bad driver or are just irreponsible.  I never consider that maybe they are rushing to the hospital to see a sick family member or racing to the school to see their little sister's choir concert. 

We expect people to be considerate of our circumstances, but we never consider that other people have them too.  I'm not saying that we can use circumstances as an excuse to mistreat people, that really isn't okay.  Just because you've had a rough life or are dealing with personal issues doesn't mean you can lash out at people just because you feel like it.

Maybe the only way to overcome this is to just be more understanding.  I'm not saying to excuse rude behavior, but when you hear something, maybe don't believe it is the whole truth or that you're dealing with a terrible person.  Hold off on the judgement until you really know whats going on.

Blogging Around

The first blog I commented on was Alex's about Do You Mind?!  I loved reading it because I felt as though we both looked at do you mind in similar ways, and it really has been a class favorite.  She said that she like how Do You Mind gets personal and that she loves it, partially, because she loves inpirational things.

I wrote:
Alex,
I loved reading this blog because I feel the same way, that alot of the time, as much as I love do you mind, I don't want to share my answers. I love writing them, but I feel like they are more for me than anyone else.

I completely agree that these questions would effect you so much because you do love inspiration and believing every cloud has a silver lining. There are so many people that I wish I could know their answers to the do you mind questions, and I feel like yours would probably brighten my day :)


The next blog I looked at was Elyse's about (shocker) do you mind.  I loved reading it because she actually gave a very detailed response about specific questions and I was surprised how open she could be with not only other people, but also herself.  I dont really like to admit fault, and she was more than willing to.
I wrote:
I really like this blog because it I'm a little more guarded about my answers in do you mind, so I love seeing that other people aren't. I also don't know if I'd ever be open enough with myself to admit what you did about apologizing to your brother. I remember I really loved that question because the most important apologies, in my opinion, are not apologizing for a certain event, but more for an attitude or certain treatment over a period of time.

I really like the other question about apologies because until I though about it, I didn't realize how many people I feel may owe me even just a slight apology. And I didn't realize that I think i deserve bigger apologies from some people too. What you said about Leah and how people closest to you probably are more likely to behave in a way the warrants an apology is dead on. Of the people who I think owe me apologies, they are some of the people I am closest too.

LATE PASS Best of the Week: Do you mind

The most insightful activity I think i may have ever done in school is "Do you mind?!".  There are many things  i like about this activity, and probably a few I don't like too.  I like hearing other people's responses.  I enjoy when somebody says something funny.  I love it when somebody says something I can relate to and I have a moment of clarity in that, "that is so me!" way.  I also love it when somebody says something which i dont understand, or something that is a new idea to me.  Even though I love what people say, I don't always feel comfortable sharing.  I think its because I've taken the questions very seriously, and often I write answers that are very personal for me.  Alot of the time the questions make me reevaluate certain parts of my life.  When the questions are something that I take very seriously and personally, I dont always want people knowing or judging my response.

At the same time, those questions are what I love about Do you mind so much.  It helps me reflect on my life in a setting I didn't think would bring that for me.  I said one day in class that writing is my way of expressing myself.  Do you mind has helped me use that even more.  Right before spring break some events happened that caused me to have trouble knowing how to express myself or even if I should.  That is when I wrote my first letter to somebody who I needed to express my emotions to.  I didn't write any other letters though.  Then Do you mind came along and I realized how much that was helping me and that I should keep writing those letters.  They aren't a fix for anything.  Not by a long shot.  But they do help ease it almost as much as talking to somebody does.  One of the hardest parts is just getting the emotions out, and once you do that, the problems are so much easier to face, or even talk about.

Best of the Week: Loss, gain, retain

During Issues and Answers we started talking about what a man lost, gained, and retained during his time in a concentration camp.  As we went over the lists we realized that many of the losses had things in common; they were all physical.  Frankl (the author of the book we read)  lost his wife, his manuscript, his hair, his clothing, weight.  But he everything he gained or retained throughout his time there was metaphysical.  He gained a new appriciation for his life, he gained knowledge about power hungry people.  He also gained fear.  He retained his belief in love, and that many people are just good people.

This made me realize many things.  You can lose many things that hurt more than anything.  You can lose a loved one, you can lose a talent, you can lose faith in people.  But nobody can take away anything that is metaphysical.  Once you gain a piece of self knowledge or learn more about yourself you cannot unlearn it unless you actively try to.  In some ways this is comforting; once you've grown up to a certain extent, no body can take that away.  People can take away your clothing, your money, your house, but they can't take away what makes you you unless you let them. 

On the other hand this isn't comforting.  I've heard that ignorance is bliss, and man do I believe it.  Its so much easier to be happy when you aren't aware that problems exist.  And once you learn about those problems, you can't unlearn them.  The thing is, its only a surface level happiness that you have before.  If you are able to, after learning many sad facts and having to face painful truths, retain your hope and belief in happiness and love, you will reach legitmate contentment.  If you are able to suffer but still find a way to be happy your life will be much more fulfilling for that.

Lit Circles Final Blog

For my lit cirlce I read the book Thinking in Pictures My Life With Autism by Temple Grandin. 

I connected this book with the blog Haley Mooney did on The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.  When she was explaining her quote I saw many similarities between Deborah in her book and Temple Grandin.  Both characters are willing to challenge the status quo, and met resistance in the process.  I don't know as much about Deborah, but I'm guessing that she also never intended to challenge the status quo, she was just doing what she thought she should.  This reminds me of Temple Grandin because she was just doing what helped her feel better and what helped her function.  Neither one did anything to not be a part of the norm, that was just a secondary result.

Haley also said that the book is about overcoming the original thought or idea people have.  She said that the family needed to overcome their ideas about Skloot's research, which were mostly negative.  Grandin also challenges people's ideas about autism.  She talks about how many incredible capabilities her mind has because of her autism.  Usually people look at autism as such a massive hinderance instead of something that could be an advantage to some people.  Temple Grandin has made enormous strides in the livestock community.  These strides would not have been possible without her autism.  It shows that once you give someone that label of mentally handicapped people will only look at what they can't do, vs. how many amazing things they can do.

Deborah broke the status quo by learning more about what her mother's cells have done.  She doesn't just let the negative feelings about the research take over.  Instead she tries to honor what her mother's cells have done for others.  Like Grandin, Deborah was able to look past the negative and look at what something that was considered bad could do positively.

Lit circles meeting response #4

            In these chapters Temple Grandin discusses why she does not have the capability to think if you go by the standards of many scientists because she thinks in pictures instead of words.  She also talks about how many animals think in the same way she does, creating a possible link between animals and autistic people.  She also talks about the links between famous geniuses and autism.  At the end she discusses religion and how she believes in God, but feels she needs a logical reason to believe in it, and cannot believe in religion just for the sake of believing.

            “For me, searching for the meaning of life has always been an intellectual activity driven by anxiety and fear.  Deep emotional relationships are secondary” (Grandin 212).

            This quote shows again how Grandin’s emotions break the norm.  Most people are more concerned with relationships and are driven more by emotions like love, rather than fear.  This definitely goes against the status quo for most people, or at least for how I see things.  In a philosophy class I’m currently taking I’ve discovered that I definitely place an emphasis on the connections you make with people in your life, vs. thinking through it logically.  Part of this is because Grandin thinks in a different way due to her autism, but she definitely doesn’t think the same way as everyone else with autism.