Metacognition: Mindbook Entry 2

I just got home from the political debate Wednesday after school.  I knew I didn't have time to go, but I wanted to learn more about the issues, and lets face it, I didn't know what I got on the AP psych test during 8th period, but I was pretty sure I was going to really need that extra credit.  I look at my assignment notebook.  Precalc/stats: self test 2-12, Humanities: do your second mindbook entry, AP psych: read pages 456-466.  So the precalc would probably only take 20 minutes, and seeing as I clearly don't learn from my mistakes, I'm going to put my psych reading on hold (this thinking is why I needed extra credit in the first place), and then I have my mindbook entry which will probably take, oh I don't know, forever.  "I really don't need this tonight!"  I said to myself as I sat down and began to brainstorm.

All the art ones were out because I did a cartoon last week.  I didn't have time to start looking up quotes, and the last show I had been to was Billy Elliot in April (which was amazing, by the way).  So it took me about three seconds to decide I was going to do something with writing.  I was in between short story and letter and couldn't decided.  So in classic Debra fashion I fed the fish for more time than I care to admit, and then decided to write a short story.  That was step one: Make the decision.  I wanted to write the story the way Andrea Barrett did, without planning where my characters were going.  But then about a page and a half in I realized that I liked my characters too much to make it a short story, I wanted it to be too complex for four pages. 

That was how I got to step two: Changing my mind.  I knew from week one that I wanted to write a letter to Tyce Diorio about his cancer dance.  I just didn't want to do it right off the bat because I thought it would be kind of hard to get all of those emotions out.  I decided right then and there that Andrea Barrett's way worked for my short and unfinished story, so I just let the words spill out.  I looked at what I had done and smiled.  I like the way my mind works in that respect.  If I'm feeling something I don't have to plan it out or try to analyze, it just spills out in a layer of words and feelings so that I can look back on it and say, "yeah, that seems about right."  But as I looked over my work I had one more emotion; guilt.

Which brought me to step three: Not feeling like I did anyone justice.  I looked over the letter and all the nuts and bolts were there.  But it lacked that raw sense of being in that moment.  Of feeling what everyone in my family was going through at that time.  That was something that I hated, because I knew that it had nothing to do with the letter, its just how I am about my work.  I never get my essay quite right, I never get the role I'm playing exactly how I want it, the advice I give never comes across the exact way I intend it too.  As I read the letter more and more I felt more comfortable with the work I had done, even though I still had that slight feeling that I could have done everyone more justice.  I knew one of the ways I could do that was to decorate the letter with parts of what I was feeling as I wrote it, simply so that I could high-light my points a little better.  I was working so hard, and was so wrapped up in it that I didn't notice time passing.

So when I get to step four I begin to: Panic.  What was I thinking?!?  It was one in the morning, I still had to shower and do my math homework, plus I wasn't anywhere near done.  Breathe  I told myself.  I got myself to relax enough to finish placing everything and gluing all the pages in.  Then I stood back and looked at this letter, this piece of art that I created to thank someone else for creating a different kind of art. 

I smiled to myself as I reached step five: happiness.  When I wrapped the project up I was able to look back and be happy with what I had done, even if I wasn't totally satisfied.

I guess there are alot of things I admire and hate about the way I think.  I love that I can sit down dreading something, and then get so wrapped up in it that three hours can pass before I realize I've finished.  I like that whatever I'm feeling is so easy to articulate if I decide to put it in words.  What I don't like is that need to make my work perfect.  I've heard people say that nobody is ever judged as harshly as they judge themself.  I really hope that is true.  I also wish that I could make up my mind from the beginning.  This is definately not the first project I've done where I've decided halfway through to change my angle entirely.  I think I would be a lot happier with my work if I stuck with what I picked in the beginning and ran with it. 

Best of the Week: Sea of Information

We hear so many things about creativity during humanities.  The creative personality is a paradox:  completely undefinable yet easy to make statements about.  While I was reading "Sea of Information"  I was more drawn into Andrea Barrett's ideas than I had been to anyone else's.  She reminded me of myself in a way because she didn't plan to write a story about tuberculosis, she just found an old book by chance and it sparked an interest in her that was never even remotely there.  I was reminded of myself because often times people will say something as a joke or an offhand comment, and I start to really think about it.  My imagination runs wild, even though the what was said had never even occured to me before.  Barrett made many bold statements about those who are creative and those who aren't.  And she told them the way a true writer would.
When we divided up into smaller groups to discuss the article I felt a little guilty because I, as I often do in small discussions, didn't shut up.  I had so many ideas that I wanted to share.  Eventually I realized that I was talking to much, and when I did I realized how similar many of our observations were.  One observation that we had in common, which I thought was the most important thing discovered all week, was that the difference between creative people and those who aren't is that creative people are more focused on feelings and emotional attachment than those who aren't.  Other people focus on big picture and everybody as a whole.  Creative people focus on the individual.  Andrea Barrett talked about when she walked past a sugar factory in Williamsburg.  She said that a historian might be wondering about working or how much the people there were paid.  She only saw one person there though.  She gave that place as a background for one character.  It only mattered to her because it was that one person's life.
It took me a while to realize why I loved this article so much more than any of the other ones we've read.  Similarly to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi she made many statements about creative people, but I found her story more interesting.  That was when I realized that Barrett's article did exactly what she thought a good story was.  In "Creative Personality"  generalities were made about creative people.  It said that all creative people were one thing or another.  Csikszentmihalyi was doing what many of the researchers Barrett worked with were doing.  Barrett was telling a story about one person: herself.  We went through the struggles that she went through and felt her own personal reactions instead of focusing on what the group as a whole felt.  Andrea Barrett wrote her article like a novel, proving all her statements about writers true.
Noticing that creative people are more focused on the individual seemed to be one of the biggest steps we have taken as a class.  It was never really said before, but it is something that seems to be a "well, duh" statement.  Creative people are focused on individuality, what single people go through, and most of all the emotions that drive the work they create.

Connection: Loss of Creativity and Art

It is no secret that as the economy worsens people become more worried about work, schools have to come back, and nobody wants to take a risk.  Unfortunately, many people have decided that the safe way to go is to lose their creativity.  In class we discussed how more and more people have become buisness majors and how creativity is not valued the way it should be by those deciding what they wish to do with the rest of their lives.  Because people are so worried about finding a job, they do not go into college to major in communications or creative writing, even though they might like to.  Many students and their families have decided that the only way to secure a job when they leave college is to major in buisness or become a doctor.  The humanities have suffered, not because nobody is interested, but because nobody sees a use for it. 
Many school districts have had to cut back because of the current economic state our country is in.  Schools can not afford to pay teachers, get new classroom materials, or provide for students who need finacial aid.  Here in Glenview, especially at Glenbrook South, we do not see as many cutbacks.  We still have up to 7 shows a year, three publications, a television and radio studio, a speech team, art classes and clubs, and photography.  That isn't even listing everything.  But other schools have made cuts, and when cuts are made, the arts are the first things to go.  It makes sense if you think about it.  Math is important for everyone to have a basic knowledge of, and English isn't unneccessary.  But aren't the arts too?  Even in our community, at Springman and Attea, the theatre, music, and art departments are suffering.  The annual show was canceled a few years ago and Mrs. Bergman, the drama teacher, travels between schools.  And that is the school that is doing well.  That is the school that is lucky.  Arts programs are being cut all over the nation when there is a shortage of money.  Do the athletic teams go?  What about junior buisness classes?  Those are two areas that are not being cut. 
So why is creativity the first thing to go?  The value of being able to express yourself and create has dropped.  Almost every company or corporation needs the creative mind to excel.  So why is creativity becoming under appreciated.  I am a Springman alum.  When I heard that the January musical was cut for budget reasons I was devestated.  There were already so many students there with a love for singing, dancing, acting, and set design.  They were being taught at a very early age that creativity, well, it just isn't that important.
Maybe once everybody has a degree in buisness people will wonder where the artists and writers went.  Now that they have money and time for leisure, nobody was able to take a chance on creating books, music, movies, and art for those people.

Carry if Forward: IDEO Creativity and Chaos

Workers at IDEO don't seem to come to work everyday; they instead come into a world of fun.  When we started watching the IDEO video in class, I thought that the IDEO workers had to be people who were very, very smart.  I was right about their intelligence levels, but I forgot to account for their extreme creativity.  They don't have a standard work environment, similar to how, in many ways, we don't have a standard school environment.  I noticed many similarities between IDEO and Glenbrook South.  For one, their relationships with their boss reminded me of similarites between Glenbrook South students and their teachers.  When I was taking transfer students on tours and I saw one of my teachers in the hallway and said hello, a boy who had just moved to Glenview from India remarked, "Teachers are more like friends here.  That must be nice."  Until then I never realized how bizarre other people must see the way we interact with our superiors. 
IDEO has the same rhythm, only they take it to a new extreme.  Not only are they "friends" with their bosses, there is no normal work place restrictions.  They were joking around, sometimes very inappropriatly.  One worker even said that they create and talk first, and apologize later if they step over the line.  That is something that most people should take away.  I cannot count how many times a person has raised their hand in class to answer a question and said, "Sorry if this is wrong, I think that..."  Why do we always apologize?  We need to take more risks in school, work, our personal lives, our activities, and at home.  At IDEO they were totally cool with messing up, because from their huge mess up, came a new idea, or at least a new restriction. 
When people are expected to apologize before they even begin something, they won't be as innovative.  Instead they'll stick to the norm, because if they speak out then they'll have to apologize, which will mean they did something wrong.  In general, people need to be more open to admitting that they are wrong.  I think that is why people get into silly arguments, I think it is why that shy girl in the corner doesn't raise her hand in English to share her opinion.  The reason IDEO is an open work place is that all the workers will take a risk, apologize, and move on if something doesn't work.  And because of that, they usually don't need to apologize.  People except all of their quirks and ideas, because that is what keeps the company running.   I'm going to use this, not so that I stop apologizing, (because let's be honest, I'm going to make mistakes)   but so that I wait until I do something wrong to apologize.  And when I apologize it won't be because I'm afraid of what people think, it'll be because I really did mess up.
If everybody were more open to different quirks, there would be more companies like IDEO around, and there would be more people like the employees of IDEO around.  Next time I have a ridiculous idea, I'm not going to ask permission to try it (unless it is really crazy, or just dangerous, or really, really stupid) I'm just going to go ahead and do it.  Acting directors always say to start off doing way more for your character than you think is necessary because it is easier reel someone in and have them tone it down than it is to start small and then try to reach that big point.  That is basically what they workers at IDEO are doing, and what I am going to do.  I'm going to go all out first, and if it is too much then I'll just take away bits and pieces.  No one ever tells you to dream small and realistically.  So why should we act like we are small?